The scene:
An upmarket coffee shop in london. Standing behind the coffee machine a barista awaits his orders. A middle aged, well-dressed woman enters the shop and makes a bee line for the barista. Confidently, she barks her orders.
Customer: Cappuccino, small, one shot, extra dry, no chocolate.
Barista: Certainly.
Customer: Extra-dry. You heard that?
Barista: Yes Madam, extra dry.
Customer: Is Roger here? He knows how I like it.
Barista: He's just in the office. Don't worry I'll make it. I'm trained by Roger!
The Barista makes the coffee and the woman takes a sip, pulls a face and returns it.
Customer: I said extra dry. This has milk in.
Barista: Yes it has a little milk in because its...
Customer: Extra dry. That's just froth and espresso. Espresso and froth. What's wrong with you?
Barista: Just espresso and froth?
Customer: Yes.
Barista: You want a macchiato?
Customer: NO! I want a small, one shot, extra dry, no chocolate cappuccino. Where's Roger? ROGER?
Roger, the Manager, enters.
Roger: Hello Maeve darling. What can I get you? The usual?
Customer: Yes thank you dear. Your barista doesn't know what he's doing. I'll be sitting down outside.
She exits.
Roger: What a pain in the arse that one is.
Barista: What does she want?
Roger: A macchiato.
Barista: But she...
Roger: I know, I know. I can assure you, she wants a macchiato. She just wants to call it a cappuccino.
The above overheard dialogue illustrates how the great coffee movement of 21st Century London has rendered a simple coffee order impossible. Gone are the days of "White, one sugar darlin'", to be replaced by long convoluted sentences made up of a combination of English and Italian words strung together in no particular verifiable order. In this series (there'll definitely be at least two) of essays (blogs) I will be examining some of the top issues that arise when the populous of London attempt to purchase a cup of Joe.
The first problem has arisen from the coffee companies trying to appeal to the modern greed for more, MoRe, MORE! There are so many different coffee shops stretching from major corporations (Starbucks, Nero, Costa) down to smaller, more specialist, independent cafes (Ginger and White, Flat White, Milk Bar) that the coffee marketplace is now cluttered with an A-Z of impressively titled coffee/milk/syrupy combinations. We have Caramel Macchiatos, Cafe Lattes, Cafe Mochas, Flat Whites, Cappuccinos, Cafe Melanges, Frappuccinos, Cafe au Lait, tall blacks, short blacks, Red Eyes, Torpedoes and so many more. Starbucks, for example, has particularly confused the ordering system by using existing words for made up coffees. For example: a macchiato is a famous Italian drink made by combining one or more shots of espresso with a spoonful or so of foam. Starbucks, however, has created the Caramel Macchiato, which can be more aptly described as a latte flavoured with caramel syrup. See where I'm going here?
So, while this is exciting and all, it can also become very complicated for baristas trying to meet people's expectations of the coffee they can get elsewhere while working in a coffee shop that only specialises in a handful of these options. The below are what I would call the actual, basic, widely available combinations of coffee and milk that are all (with the exception of the Flat White which is from New Zealand & Australia) based on the original Italian recipes.
1. Latte
1-2 shots of espresso combined with steamed milk with a small layer of froth on the top.
2. Cappuccino
1-2 shots of espresso combined with 2/3 steamed milk and 1/3 froth.
3. Flat White
2 shots of espresso combined with steamed milk with less froth than a latte.
4. Americano with or without milk
1-2 shots of espresso combined with hot water. Hot or cold milk added as required.
5. Mocha
1-2 shots of espresso combined with hot chocolate. Served latte style.
6. Espresso
1-2 shots of espresso, served straight or with milk if required.
7. Macchiato
1-2 shots of espresso, served with frothed milk.
When I was working in a coffee shop I was overwhelmed by the number of customers who tried to specialise their orders. A little fiddling around is okay -I can deal with extra-hot or a little less milk perhaps- but the reason these bean and milk combos are in existence is because they have been tried and tested and they WORK!
So please don't order a:
-Latte with less foam and an extra shot because this is a FLAT WHITE.
-Wet Cappuccino because this is a LATTE.
-Dry Latte because this is a CAPPUCCINO.
-Espresso with a large side of extra milk because you clearly want a FLAT WHITE and are just being GREEDY
OR A
-Dry cappuccino because this is A CUP OF COFFEE-SCENTED FOAM.
Just my suggestion.
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