Like many other freelancer type people I make most of my actual living from odd jobs - writing copy, promotional work, corporate acting and, perhaps most rewardingly, tutoring. I've been tutoring two little boys over the last year focusing on homework help and common entrance examinations and, while its not necessarily my dream job, I have to admit that their cheekiness, innocence and crazy ideas always give me food for thought and get me smiling (even if it's sometimes more of a grimace)! My friends and family are always awaiting my next tale from the land of these troublesome tykes and I thought I'd share some of their prize moments here.
SCENE
IT'S REVISION TIME. LUCY AND NINE YEAR OLD BOY. TODAY WE'RE PRACTISING SENTENCE STRUCTURE.
Small boy: The dog was taking a walk in the park when its owner fell into some camel poo.
Lucy: Well it's unlikely but grammatically correct.
SB: David took good care of his prostitute.
Lucy: (helpless, awkward laughter)
SB: Why are you laughing? How about this one: The people queued to see the naked strippers.
Lucy: OK I think we're done with this exercise.
SB: No I'm not finished yet. (Pause) Lucy? Is 'pooed' a verb?
END
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